The Rebelled Marriage Law
by Darkefairy
Summary: I just had to do one of these. The Hogwart students are pissed about a marriage law. What do they do about it, overthrow the Ministry of course! Crackfic! After Dumbledore leaves, Fifth Year.


There was complete silence in the Great Hall. The news had just come in. A compulsory marriage law. Some of the younger girls were sobbing silently. Other children were shell shocked, just staring into space. The elder children were shaking with fury and rage. And at the front of the room, Umbridge was smiling smugly. Supposedly, this was to help preserve pureblood lines and repopulate the wizarding world after Griwndwald and the first war of Voldemort. People were reading the papers that contained their matches, most horrified but some of the few who had gotten lucky, indifferent or joyful. The unmarried teachers had gotten matches to. Suddenly, a group of girls at the Hufflepuff table stood up, faces hard. "EVERYONE, LISTEN UP!" Screeched a blond with a pixie cut, around fifth year. "WE DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS! ITS OUR LIVES, OUR LOVE, OUR FREEDOM!" Umbridge's face turned purple. "Hem Hem, Miss..." "Emma Jones." "Well Miss Jones, this has been deemed necessary by the Ministry to repopulate the wizarding world. You have been chosen perfectly suitable matches judged by magic levels and personality. I think you will find you will be perfectly happy." "LIKE HELL WE WILL!" Screamed another Hufflepuff, this one a brunette with long straight hair. "I'M NACY MACE AND I'M PAIRED WITH MY DADS WORK FRIEND! WHO IS SIXTY FIVE!" "I'm sure you'll find a way around it." Umbridge said, sounding flustered. "I could suggest an ageing potion maybe-" A boy from the Slytherin table stood up, maybe a fourth year. "Your nuts lady, those things are temporary. Also, I'm paired with another boy! How is that supposed to help the wizarding world reproduce?!" Another student stood up, a young girl from Ravenclaw. "I'M PAIRED WITH MY BROTHER!" She wailed and fell down in tears. More and more people stood up, screaming about bad matches. One girl from Gryffindor got Proffesor Snape as her match, another boy from Hufflepuff got Vincent Crabbe, Draco was screaming loudly about being paired with a mudblood eleven year old girl from Gryffindor. Umbridge cast a Sonorous on herself and screamed "QUIET!" The students immediately quieted down. She cancelled the spell and said in a sickly sweet voice. "Anyone with any protests will come with me for detention. Any continued rebellion will be met with expulsion." Hermione growled and stood up. "You can't expel all of us!" She shouted defiantly. The entire student body stood up then and in a rare movement of house unity began to scream "NO MORE MARRIAGE LAW! NO MORE MARRIAGE LAW!" Then the spells started flying, hitting Umbridge as she fled out the hall. "AND DON'T COME BACK!" Yelled Ginny as she fired the last shot. ... The next day Umbridge returned with Aurors. As soon as they entered, every head in the hall swivelled to looked at them unblinkingly. The more experienced started inching towards the exit, they were outnumbered one to thirty. Then the spells flew causing them to flee for their lives. ... The next day, Harry stood up. "Everyone! We forgot to think about everyone not at school, the home schooled or graduated! Their being forced to marry in several days!" Another student from Ravenclaw stood up. "Well the Ministry isn't well defended. In the visitors entrance I once told them I was Lord Voldemort planning to slaughter them all and they gave me a button and wished me luck! Why not just attack. Only the few properly trained Ministry employees are a problem, the rest win wars with money and politics." "T-That's perfect!" Yelled a Hufflepuff. "We can easily overpower them! Specially the DA!" At this point everyone was whipped up into a frenzy. The teachers pretended not to notice anything wrong. "TO THE FIREPLACES!" Ron roared and raced into Umbridges office. They kicked down the door and everyone grinned. Even the Slytherins were displaying rare brashness in their fury against the marriage law. "FOR FREEDOM!" Yelled a Slytherin. And everyone began to run into the fire. If you looked at the Ministry you would see chaos. Some recently graduated from Hogwarts had arrived, alerted by owls. Spells were used by people from all houses. All the houses were perfectly united, now standing under the flag of Hogwarts. A Slytherin pulled a Gryffindor out of the way of spellfire. A Hufflepuff took a jinx for a Ravenclaw. A 'Puff was saved by a Gryf, a Snake was saved by a Raven. Finally, they made it to the Wizemegot Chamber and shoved open the doors, Students flooded in and every politician was held at wand point. "WE are allowed to choose our own husbands and wives." Snarled Harry at Fudge. "B-But the Ministry-" "Screw the Ministry!" yelled Ron. "I was paired with Pansy Parkison! We HATE each other!" "I'm sure you could find some way around it." Fudge said nervously, keeping his eyes on the wands surrounding him. "The Ministry has fallen Fudge, no one is going to save you now." Harry snarled. "I-I'll retract the law." Fudge stammered. "No, you lose your post in office." Susan said from her spot where Lucuis Malfoy had her wand at his throat. "Dolores Umbridge was using Blood Quills on minors and that's enough to get you fired a incompetent even if you knew nothing about it." "If you did..." Hannah said with a predatory smile. "Azkaban would have one more occupant." "Hufflepuffs are scary." A Raven whispered to a Gryf. Fudge was sweating now. "OKAY! I resign! I resign!" He shouted and burst into tears. "That was ridiculously easy, these fools are supposed to take care of us and their taken down by a group of school children and recent graduates." Daphne said in disbelief. "How do you think Voldie got so much power in the first war? If they just dealt with it as soon as the problem emerged it would never had happened but they just let the problem grow as they let people die." Neville said in disgust. "The Ministry is filled with Nargles." Luna said dreamily. "Wha?" Asked a Puff. "Don't mind her, she's Loony-" "No, not really. Nargles supposedly make your brains go fuzzy and slow. Essentially she's saying the Ministry is filled with weak minded people." Neville replied. "Also that's why they hide in Mistletoe according to her, 'cause kissing makes your brain go fuzzy and that happens under mistletoe." Luna nodded dreamily as she poked an official looking man with her wand, causing him to shriek as he found himself only in his underwear. "While that's nice, whose going to be the new Minister of Magic?" Asked Hermione. "How about your Aunt, Susan? She was fair at my hearing and seemed like an honourable person." Harry asked. Susan's eyes lit up. "That's perfect, Auntie is always going on about Fudge cutting her budget, now the Law Enforcement will get the money they need!" An hour later, Amelia Bones was sworn into office. When the students returned to Hogwarts, the teachers pretended they had never left and overthrown a Ministry. The marriage law was revoked and the wizarding world was changed for the better. 


End file.
